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The football with the genuine leather laces, the fire truck that hooked right up the garden hose to actually squirt real water on burning backyard items … I knew Santa brought those things, but no way would he bring me underwear. Santa’s a guy, after all, and guys just don’t do that to other guys. No, this was pretty much a female thing. I know now, because I saw my wife trying to get away with it. She tried to go the socks and underwear route with me once … once! Needless to say, she never did again–for me or for the boys. She just needed a little direction in the area of guy-gift-giving.
Women just don’t really understand what a guy wants for Christmas, but then what would you expect from a gender that thinks a lacy bean bag dipped in perfume (I think they call it potpourri) makes a great gift for another female–and the other female just loves it! Go how to sew criss cross elastic on pointe shoes figure, So here are few tips for the females (and, honey, I hope you’re listening), • Underwear and socks, like I said before, are definitely out of the picture, So are water picks and electric toothbrushes … pretty much anything related to oral hygiene..
• Lawn care supplies (we’re talkin’ clippers, rakes and fertilizer here) and painting accessories (buckets, brushes, etc.) are not acceptable. That does not include, however, a Toro power edger or a Wagner airless spray gun. Because no matter what it is, if it comes with a power cord or a spark plug, the guy is going to love it. • Women hate to receive appliances as gifts (yeah, went with a dishwasher as a Christmas present for my wife once … big mistake!). Guys, on the other hand, love appliances–especially the ones that come from Fry’s or Best Buy. Actually, pretty much anything in the electronics field (remember the power cord theory here) will make a guy pretty happy–say, a new Blue Ray player, a DVR, a 75-inch Samsung big-screen TV with stereo surround sound. (Note: these items must come equipped with a power cord … and a wireless remote.).
• The boys still like how to sew criss cross elastic on pointe shoes to get toys a lot more than clothes, and I’m pretty much with them on that one, “Oh, boy, another shirt and tie,” I’m sure I’ll be saying somewhat less than enthusiastically on Christmas morning, And my wife will go off on some long, involved story about how she had to go from store to store to find just the right tie to match the shirt she called taupe but I thought was just brown, Women don’t seem to understand that they don’t need to go to all that trouble, because we can’t really tell if the tie matches the shirt or not! And we’d be just as happy with a tie that featured Daffy Duck, or Bart Simpson or the Golden State Warriors … or Pamela Sue Anderson in her old Baywatch swimsuit..
The Elves and the Shoemaker: A pair of elves arrive at a small village in the Black Forest to discover a poor, gentle shoemaker who clearly needs their assistance. Suggested for grades preK-5. Dec. 11 and 18, 7 p.m.; Dec. 12 and 19, 11 a.m. Sunnyvale Theatre, Sunnyvale Community Center, 550 E. Remington Drive, Sunnyvale. $13 advance/$15 door. ctcinc.org, 408-245-2978. Winter’s Gifts Celebration: The Choral Project and San Jose Chamber Orchestra both celebrate milestone anniversaries with live holiday music that honors wintry traditions from around the world. Dec. 19, 8 p.m. First Presbyterian Church of Palo Alto, 1140 Cowper St., Palo Alto. Dec. 20, 7 p.m. at Mission Santa Clara de Asis, 500 El Camino Real, Santa Clara. $10-$30 at sjcp.org/$10-$35 at the door.
Moscow Ballet’s Great Russian Nutcracker: This lively production takes place in composer Pyotr Tchaikovsky’s native land and includes Russian-named characters, folk legends Ded Moroz and Snegurochka, and life-size Matrushka dolls, Dec, 18, 4 p.m, and 8 p.m, Flint Center how to sew criss cross elastic on pointe shoes of the Performing Arts, 21250 Stevens Creek Blvd., Cupertino, $28-$122, 800-745-3000, nutcracker.com/yourcity/cupertino-ca, Oakland Interfaith Gospel Choir: Director Terrance Kelly leads the award-winning choir in his signature arrangements of traditional holiday favorites, Dec, 18, 7:30 p.m, Mountain View Center for the Performing Arts, 500 Castro St., Mountain View, $28-$36, bit.ly/southbaygospel, 650-903-6000..
An Evening of Lessons and Carols: The Santa Clara Chorale presents a program of seasonal choral music, traditional carols and meditative readings that explore the holiday themes of wonder, community, joy, loss and peace. Dec. 11, 8 p.m.; Dec. 13, 4 p.m. Mission Santa Clara, Santa Clara University. $5-$32. scc.org. Man of La Mancha: Los Altos Stage Company presents a muscial retelling of “Don Quixote.” Through Dec. 19. Bus Barn Theater, 97 Hillview Ave., Los Altos. $18-$36. losaltosstage.org, 650-941-0551.
Peninsula Women’s Chorus: The chorus presents “A Winter Prelude,” a program featuring Diemer’s “O Viridissima Virga,” Debussy’s “Noël des enfants qui n’ont pas how to sew criss cross elastic on pointe shoes plus de maisons,” Carter’s “Maria Walks Amid the Thorn” and the Finnish song “Hanget Soi (Singing Snow).” A sing-along set is also on the bill, Dec, 12, 2:30 p.m, St, Mark’s Episcopal Church, 600 Colorado Ave., Palo Alto, Dec, 18, 8 p.m, Mission Santa Clara, 500 El Camino Real, Santa Clara, $30 general/$35 premium/$10 student, pwchorus.org, 650-327-3095..