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Perfectionism holds girls back, she said. They are afraid to take risks — to be the least perfect piano player in a new piano class, to not be the best dancer in ballet class. “For so many girls, there’s this expectation that they are the best or they are one of the best and they are effortlessly the best or they don’t want to do it,” she said. Perfectionism also hinders girls from apologizing because they have to admit they did something wrong. And they can’t hear constructive criticism without questioning their value, she said.

Finally, girls think friendships should be perfect and conflict free, Best Friends Forever (BFFs) or squads should consist of girls who all like the same things, do everything together and never disagree, This creates unrealistic expectations for relationships and avoids necessary conflict, Marean said, The good news is girls can build their emotional intelligence to combat these self-defeating realities dance shoes with arch support and parents can help by sharing their feelings, like telling stories of when they felt insecure or embarrassed..

“It’s OK to share your not-so-perfect feelings with her,” Marean said. When girls deny mistakes or exaggerate problems, parents can help by helping them figure out what their contribution to mistakes or conflicts are so they can better understand and perhaps accept their own roles in uncomfortable situations. “When conflict happens, it’s typically not black and white, right and wrong,” Marean said. “All girls have contributed to the conflict when something goes wrong. Instead of putting the blame on someone else, we have to say, ‘What did I do?”.

Parents can help their children to do this by owning their own mistakes, mirroring the behavior they want to see in their children, Parents can also help girls overcome conflict and being upset by role playing, helping girls dance shoes with arch support find dialogue to confront their peers when conflict happens rather than ignore it and hope it goes away, “If you want your daughter to communicate assertively … she has to build muscle memory, not only what to say but how to say it,” Marean said, Finally, they can teach their girls to be assertive by themselves telling their girls directly what they need, like help in the kitchen, so girls aren’t afraid of telling others what they need..

It stunned audiences when it premiered in Paris in 1875 and its composer thought it was a failure when he died three months after it opened. But as the resounding standing ovation proved when the curtain came down on Carmen at San Jose’s California Theatre last Sunday afternoon, Georges Bizet’s masterpiece is understandably one of the most admired and performed works of the operatic repertory. Whether one has seen the opera a half-dozen times or it is a first experience, its three-hour length slips by effortlessly. Director Layna Chianakas has sung the title role 20 times including with Opera San Jose 25 years ago. She knows it thoroughly but took on the challenge of rethinking some of the basic underpinnings. Not the least of these was to immerse herself in the Gypsy culture of the Roma people. Carmen, the fiery Gypsy woman, revels in her freedom, her sexiness, her close ties with her community and her deep fatalism.

The story is set in Seville where Carmen is one of dozens of girls working in a cigarette factory, She is arrested after a fight with one of the girls and put under the guard of a soldier, Don Jose, who allows her to escape because of his fatal attraction to her charms, After being punished for allowing the escape, he deserts the army to follow her and a group of smugglers into the mountains, His attentions become too possessive and Carmen casts her spell onto a famed bullfighter, Escamillo, The final act is at the bull ring where Carmen goes to see her new lover perform, Don Jose blocks her way, pleads for her to dance shoes with arch support take him back, When she refuses he stabs her to death..

In the Opera San Jose presentation Carmen is sung effectively by mezzo-soprano Lisa Chavez, who brings the role strength, passion and vigor. Her brilliant high notes soared over the large chorus and orchestra. Don Jose is sung by another Opera San Jose resident artist, Michael Dougherty, an athletic stage presence who has a sweet, high range tenor voice. He sang the part with a simple kind of naivete who gets caught in a passion he has never known before. And then we witness his gradual disintegration.

Toreador Escamillo is performed by resident artist Matthew Hanscom with a pleasing baritone, He might have used dance shoes with arch support more earthiness, brutality and swagger to increase the contrast between him and his rival, There is ample contrast in evidence between Carmen and the gentle, wide-eyed innocence of Micaela, Don Jose’s girlfriend from his hometown, Resident artist soprano Jennifer Forni sings Micaela with three of the best arias in the entire opera and was rewarded with enthusiastic applause from the audiences..


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